


Separate

by svtadea



Series: 78 Drabbles for 78 Ships [8]
Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Angst, Break Up, Cheating, Drabble, Lawyer!Jeonghan, Lee Seokmin | DK-centric, M/M, Non-Idol AU, Oneshot, Seok Han and Chan are brothers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-22
Updated: 2020-08-22
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:01:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,353
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26046952
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/svtadea/pseuds/svtadea
Summary: In which, Seokmin realizes that a break up affects more than just two people.
Relationships: Choi Seungcheol | S.Coups/Lee Jihoon | Woozi, Choi Seungcheol | S.Coups/Yoon Jeonghan, Hong Jisoo | Joshua/Lee Seokmin | DK, Hong Jisoo | Joshua/Yoon Jeonghan, mentioned
Series: 78 Drabbles for 78 Ships [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1379080
Comments: 3
Kudos: 26





	Separate

Seokmin feels a cold sort of empty, with his chest tight and tears blurring his eyesight. He rereads the Joshua's message again.

_Shua-hyung~ ♥:_

_I'm sorry............... I'm thankful for all the years we had together..................... I only wish you the best.................. I really did think that we'd be a family in the future.......................... I won't be coming back. I don't think I can do that...................... I hope you don't take this the wrong way........................ I won't be annoying you anymore........................ God bless and thanks again............................._

Seokmin exhales, a shaky breath that rattled his lungs. He has seen this coming. It loomed over their heads for months now, and now that it has happened, Seokmin could do nothing but accept it.

Still that doesn't stop the course of emotions within him, a whirlwind of anger, disappoint, sadness. He supposes that was normal. That's what happens when someone important to you had to separate now.

Ah, Seokmin wipes his face with his sleeve, annoyed and willing away the tears. Why was he the one crying? He wasn’t his boyfriend in the first place.

In the next room over, he could hear his older brother still playing his music loud. Across, his younger brother is cursing over his game. Seokmin clicks his tongue. Joshua doesn't deserve this. No one does.

* * *

Dinner time comes and it is Seokmin's turn to set the table. Eventually, his siblings come filing in, Jeonghan clicking away on his phone and Chan easily taking his usual seat.

“Hey, no phones during meals,” Seokmin scolds, setting the bowl of rice down harder than what is acceptable.

“Yeah, yeah.” Jeonghan rolls his eyes. “Putting it away now, sheesh. It was work-related, Minnie. Calm down.”

_Work-related my ass._

Seokmin pulls his chair and sits. He knows his two brothers looked at him curiously, but they didn’t say anything, so Seokmin doesn’t either. The rest of the meal proceeds quietly, with Chan talking about his day of dancing, and Jeonghan asking about it. They grow tired of that easily, not with Seokmin unusually silent.

After finishing dinner, Chan is left to do the dishes and Jeonghan escapes to his room. The action fills Seokmin with cold disappointment, but once again, he does nothing.

* * *

The following week has been the same as dinner, with Seokmin withdrawn. He'd lock himself in his room and spend hours talking to Minghao or Mingyu, or both. Long story short, he really doesn’t want to be near his family right now. Every time he was, he feels nothing but negative emotions, and he would really would like it to stop. But until he gets over this, staying away is his option.

In all honesty, Seokmin misses laughing and joking around his dongsaeng or being all adorable for his hyung, but he can't quite do that yet. He can't be in the same room as Jeonghan without wanting to punch him in the face. He also can't bring himself to answer if Chan suddenly asked why Joshua-hyung didn't come by anymore.

Seokmin really just can't. He needs time to adjust and relive what he had felt, before he can forgive. He usually forgives easily, but now, he breaths. He needs time.

* * *

But of course, he isn't that lucky.

Seokmin comes home from university, with an ache in his bones after sitting in class all day. It is late and Chan is probably in his room studying while Jeonghan went straight to bed after work. The lights are off but Seokmin could see the silhouette of the food cover on the table. He doesn’t have that much of an appetite so he should probably just put away the leftovers. He flicks the light switch open and—

“So are you going to tell me what I did wrong?”

“Holy– how long have you been standing there, hyung?” Seokmin places a hand over his heart, rubbing it as if to tell it to slow down.

Jeonghan narrows his eyes at him, stalking closer. “Don't avoid the question, Minnie.”

Seokmin resists the urge to eye-roll and takes off his shoes instead before depositing them in their rack. “I don't know what you're talking about. I'm just tired from school.”

“Nu-uh,” Jeonghan clicks his tongue at him, wagging a finger, “you can't lie to your hyung, don't you know that?”

Too tired to even bother, Seokmin snorts. “That's rich coming from you.”

“What?” Seokmin could hear the sudden venom in his brother’s words but at this point, he’s too jaded to care.

“Nothing, hyung.”

“No, you don't get out of this. Explain Seokmin.” Jeonghan blocks the path and he stands, imposing and terrifyingly cold. Had this been any other day, Seokmin would have shivered at bearing the brunt of his brother’s wrath.

But it isn’t just any other day and this isn’t supposed to be Seokmin’s problem in the first place. “Does Joshua-hyung ring a bell?”

A dumbfounded look etches itself on Jeonghan’s face. For once he is caught off guard but soon he schools his expression to something more calculating. “What do you mean?”

Seokmin rolls his eyes. “Don’t pretend like you know nothing, hyung. You’re not stupid.”

“How much do you know?”

Seokmin faces his brother. They are almost the same height. It is so easy to see eye to eye, and yet Seokmin found nothing but that cold calculating look. Just the usual Jeonghan expression when he’s thinking about how he could get away this. And so, Seokmin begins carefully, “I know everything hyung. And honestly, I can’t say I’m surprised. You’d been a cheater your whole life.”

Jeonghan’s eyes widen. Whether it is at his brother’s revelation or his bluntness, Seokmin doesn’t know. He doesn’t care either. The ball is rolling now and there’s no way to stop it.

“I just didn’t think you’d do it out of games,” the younger remarks, eyes still boring through his brother’s. “I am so disappointed in you, do you know that? I lost all my respect for you. Like I said, you’re not stupid. You knew what you were doing. This wasn’t an accident; this wasn’t a one-time thing. You purposefully cheated on Joshua-hyung.

“God, I suspected it but I didn’t dare hope it was true!” Tears sting Seokmin’s eyes but that doesn’t bother him as months’ worth of resentment come pouring out his mouth. “I sided on you, hyung! All these months you were talking to someone, until sunrise. I just thought maybe it was Joshua-hyung but you said it was work-related. You don’t usually talk to co-workers like that hyung, all giggly and flirting. Don’t think I can’t hear you. The walls between our rooms are thin.”

Jeonghan remains quiet, his lips taut and his eyes cold. Seokmin takes it as cue to continue, not that he’d let the older speak anyway.

“And then you broke up. Joshua-hyung told me,” he says quietly, “He asked me daily how you were. He sent you your favorite food, he surprised you with flowers. He made every effort to talk to you and fix this because you don’t just throw away five years together down the drain. I was rooting for you. I hoped that you two will emerge from this stronger.

“When you got bitten by Kkuma last month,” Seokmin recalls, “you know what he told me? He said he felt bad for not being able to be with you or at least ask how you were because you’d get mad. And when you caught a flu a week after, he still regularly messaged just to check up on you.

“He loved you so much, hyung! Everyone could see that. He brought the best out of you and you know how happy me and Chan were for you? Here was someone who was willing to love you with all his heart. He sacrificed so much for you. He put up with you and your god-awful temper!”

Seokmin takes a moment to breath, to steady himself from the cries that shook his body as memories come flooding his mind like a tsunami. Across him, Jeonghan stands still but his silence only irks Seokmin even more.

“And when you had you board exams, he delivered you every meal.” Seokmin steels his eyes at his brother. “He carried all your books. He had bandages ready for your hand after writing for hours. When you were studying, he brought you back and forth from the review center. He looked up your case studies for you so you don’t have to spend time on it. All of that while he worked towards his own degree. He had been with you every step of the way. Law school, graduation, review, bar exams, oath taking and roll signing. He was more present than me and Chan were!

“And what about Chuseok? He spent every year with us. Hyung, he could have visited his mom in the US. You know he missed her, and yet he chose you time and time again. Every one of our birthdays, every vacation we went to, he was with us. Remember the time you got hospitalized? You know who took care of you? Joshua-hyung. Because he’d rather me and Chan not worry and just focus on our exams at the time.”

Then silence. Seokmin is filled up with emotions once more that it chokes him. It slows him down, but he lets himself feel, as anger flashes behind his eyes. Disappointment follows next, and regret. Lastly, sadness.

“He loved you so much, hyung, and I really thought you were end game. I even thought you’d be engaged when you came back from your Thailand getaway last year. I couldn’t see any reason why you wouldn’t be. You were great together. You were both financially stable and while Chan and I are still somewhat dependent on you, you know we can manage.

“And then what did you do?” Seokmin laughs, but there’s no humor in its timber. “You throw all that away for what? Someone who didn’t chose you? Chan told me and Joshua-hyung told me. Whoever you cheated with didn’t chose you. He had another. Do you know how stupid that sounds? Was it worth it?

“But oh, it gets worse! Because you broke up with Joshua-hyung, saying he was emotionally abusive. Just what on earth does that even mean? He was nothing but kind, honest and patient with you even when you pushed him away or acted up.” Seokmin clicks his tongue at Jeonghan who at this point just looked at his feet. “Yet, all this time, it turned out, you just weren’t able to bear the guilt. You cheated on Joshua-hyung before the break up, but you only had the gall to finally admit the truth last week. You kept him in the dark for two nearly two months and all the while, he worried about you even when you broke up!”

Seokmin pulls at his own hair in frustration, letting out a groan before finally throwing the bag he still wore on the floor.

“I am just so disappointed and mad at you. Five years, hyung,” he said in between heavy breaths. “I thought you were better than that. Our parents raised you better than that. Sure, you’re a lawyer now, but what good is it if your character doesn’t check out. Does Seungcheol-hyung know you cheated? He was the one who introduced you two.”

“Seok…” Jeonghan tries, reaching for his brother’s arm. But by his tone, Seokmin already knew the answer to his question.

“Fuck, it’s Cheol-hyung, isn’t it? You cheated on Shua-hyung with Cheol-hyung.” The guilt in Jeonghan’s eyes confirms it, unable to meet Seokmin’s. “God, does Jihoon-hyung know about you two?”

Jeonghan doesn’t answer and Seokmin doesn’t bother with him either.

“You know what, I don’t need to know. I said what I had to say and if you have something to tell me other than you’re sorry and you regret things, I don’t want to listen anymore. This is your life, hyung, in the end. Not mine. I’m done supporting you. I’m done pitying and worrying for you. I may be your idiot brother but there’s a limit to how much stupidity I can take.”

Seokmin picks up his bag from the floor and pushes through Jeonghan, who still stands unmoving in the middle of the hallway.

* * *

Later, after Seokmin has retires to his bedroom without another word, he lays in bed, blinking tears away. But finally, he brings out his phone and reads the message one last time before deleting it forever. It’s time to let go now. He isn’t his boyfriend anymore. They don’t have that connection anymore.

_Shua-hyung~ ♥:_

_Hi Seok. I messaged Chan already. He already knows the whole story too. You were right. Jeonghan did have another, but it didn’t end well for them. The other guy had someone else. Maybe someday, Jeonghan will open up and tell you himself. I just want to say I'm sorry and I'm thankful for all the years we had together. Thank you for all the support you and Chan gave to me and you Hannie-hyung. I only wish you the best. Me and Han may not have ended in the best of terms but I guess we learned a lot from this experience. I really did think that we'd be a family in the future but I guess we weren’t meant to be. I won't be coming back. I don't think I can do that. I admit, I am mad at what he did but I wish no harm for him. But we mutually came to terms with it, we can’t be together anymore. I hope you don't take this the wrong way. Your Hannie-hyung is still the person that he is. Please love him and be there for him. Anyway, I won't be annoying you anymore. I think it’s time to let go for all of us and I’m glad that Han and I got our closure. God bless and thanks again. I won’t hold out for Han, but who knows? Maybe one day… See you around, Seok._

* * *

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**Author's Note:**

> Hi. While the "canon" pair in this oneshot is JiHan, I tagged this as SeokSoo because I felt like it focuses more on Seokmin's thoughts on Joshua and his relationship with Jeonghan. Whether Seokmin's feelings are purely platonic or if romantic, I'll leave that to the reader's imagination.  
> This work is inspired by my own feelings and it is my way of coping. The things that I wrote here are specific because that is exactly what my sister's exboyfriend did for my sister. The message is almost the same too, with a few tweaks to fit the oneshot, but what Seokmin felt was how I felt. I just needed to get this off my chest.   
> Cheating is not something I condone and no one deserves to be cheated on. No one deserves their trust to be broken just like that. I know years together doesn't guarantee a relationship but still, that is time where two people have mutually agreed to be loyal to each other. In all honesty, I don't know the whole story and Seok doesn't either, but this is one such instance where a small part paints the bigger picture. Maybe one day, I'll write a back story for this fic maybe not, but this is really how I feel at this point and these are all that I want to say to my sister.  
> So why JiHan/Seok? Joshua reminds me of my sister's exboyfriend, being gentle, in a sense, even if Jeonghan throws all sorts of curveballs at him. Jeonghan's closest to my sister's personality too. And Seok, I chose him because I feel like if he was me, he'd react exactly the same. Quiet at first before it all explodes in one go. I added Chan as the third brother because I have a younger sister, and because I thought it would make sense for Seokmin's reaction as the middle brother.  
> That's all I guess. I hope you guys enjoyed this somewhat.


End file.
